Why is it that the salmon that’s on sale never tastes very salmony?? If only Sendik’s had had their Alaskan coho on sale again, instead of Pick’n'Save’s farmed Atlantic. Oh well, sorry Trade Press, it’s more like Dill and Lemon Spread with Salmon.

Made with great salmon, however, this is a delicious recipe. As with a lot of my cooking, I don’t really use a recipe. There’s ingredients that I always use, then I just go from there. Here’s the recipe as best as I can remember from this batch.

Salmon Spread

1 lb (2 blocks) cream cheese (low-fat is fine)
1 lb fresh salmon, broiled until cooked, then flaked
4 T good quality butter
zest and juice of one lemon
2 T horseradish (not sauce)
2 T capers, drained
1/4 c red onion, minced
3 T chopped fresh dill
1-2 t fish sauce or worchestershire
S+P to taste

1. Leave the cream cheese and butter out to come to room temperature.

2. Cream all ingredients except salmon in a mixing bowl. Add salmon and mix to combine. Adjust any of the ingredients to taste. Chill and serve with crackers, bagels, rye bread or cucumber slices.

Next time you reach for a box of brownie or cookie mix…STOP! Make these instead. They’re just as fast as a mix, I promise. And chances are you’ll already have all the ingredients already in your pantry if you bake more than once a year. The recipe (from Cook’s Illustrated, once again) makes a 9×13-inch pan that’s just the right thickness, and has the perfect ratio of chocolate to dough.

This is also perfect if you’re feeling lazy but really want chocolate chip cookies. Because who wants to spoon out dough and bake in batches? Not to mention if you’re a fan of chewy, soft cookies, then this is also a recipe for you. OK, it’s really a recipe for everyone, I guess. It’s chewy, chocolatey, one-bowl, super fast and simple. What’s not to love?

Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars

2 1/8 c AP flour
1/2 t salt
1/2 t baking powder
12 T butter
1 c brown sugar
1/2 c sugar
1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 t vanilla
2 c chocolate chips (about one 12 oz bag)

1. Preheat oven to 325. Melt butter in a large microwave safe mixing bowl.

2. Add sugars and mix until combined. Add eggs and vanilla and mix well.

3. Dump in your dry ingredients except chips, and fold together with a spatula or wooden spoon, just until combined. Don’t overmix or the gluten will develop and make the cookies tough. Fold in the chocolate chips.

4. Spread in greased 9×13 pan (the dough will be a little greasy, but don’t worry). Bake until just set in the middle, 27-30 minutes.

Have I mentioned how much disdain and utter hatred I harbor for the Food Network? I’ve repeatedly mentioned how they’re not about cooking anymore (I believe they once were, years ago when the network first started broadcasting, with folks like Batali, Kerr, Tsai etc.), but simply about personalities. You don’t watch the Food Network to learn how to cook, you watch it to be entertained while you figure out which take-out place to order dinner from, as long as you’re not motion sick from the epileptic camera work.

The Food Network dumbs down cooking. Just look at Sandra Lee and Rachel Ray. Sandra Lee shouldn’t take much explaining…I once saw her make

I know it's bad but please just eat it

“fajitas” in a crock pot, with a package of fajita seasoning. “If you had to buy all of these spices and herbs separately, think of how much that would cost!” Because apparently home cooks have no other need for cumin, salt or chili powder.

And Rachel Ray. The giggly idiot I can’t stop watching because who doesn’t love seeing a giant firestorm of a trainwreck? All she does is dumb things down. She uses penne rigate, but she dismisses the real name in favor of “that just means tubes with lines”. Lines? Since when did someone draw on the pasta? Is your desperate housewife audience so dumb that they can’t learn “penne rigate” and know the purpose of ridges in pasta? She’s got nine recipes on Food Network’s website that use hot dogs. I counted once. If she were an alcoholic, she and Sandra Lee would get along great.

I am the fairy princess of boob jobs and tablescapes

Apparently, though not surprisingly, Michael Pollan, the ultrapopular author who has become the superhero of foodies everywhere lately, shares some of my disdain for the Food Network. In his recent New York Times piece, he examines the dismal state of home cooking in the U.S., largely due to the bad influence the Food Network has become. Here’s a few of my favorite quotes:

“Erica Gruen, the cable executive often credited with putting the Food Network on the map in the late ’90s, recognized early on that, as she told a journalist, “people don’t watch television to learn things.” So she shifted the network’s target audience from people who love to cook to people who love to eat, a considerably larger universe…”

Oh, that’s nice, now I know whom to blame. I’m sure Ms. Gruen is a very rich woman, but I wonder if she herself cooks at all, or if she knows exactly how her decision has contributed to this country’s sad state of cooking affairs. I’d bet not. And even if she did, I’d bet she wouldn’t give a damn anyway. Either way, I bet PBS stations across the country can thank her for the continued popularity of cooking shows for people who actually want to learn cooking!

“I spent an enlightening if somewhat depressing hour on the phone with a veteran food-marketing researcher, Harry Balzer, who explained that ‘people call things ‘cooking’ today that would roll their grandmother in her grave — heating up a can of soup or microwaving a frozen pizza.’”

Yeah, I’d have to agree with that. Just today I saw a blog post in which someone offered recipes they served at a party, so that guests could make and enjoy the same things. The “recipes”? Pulled pork: Pork shoulder, jar of BBQ sauce. BBQ turkey: Ground turkey, jar of BBQ sauce. Shrimp dip: cream cheese, can of shrimp soup. Is this really what people think is cooking, let

That's money!

alone GOOD cooking???? Thank you, Sandra Lee!

“Buying, not making, is what cooking shows are mostly now about — that and, increasingly, cooking shows themselves: the whole self-perpetuating spectacle of competition, success and celebrity that, with “The Next Food Network Star,” appears to have entered its baroque phase. The Food Network has figured out that we care much less about what’s cooking than who’s cooking.”

Gee, that sounds vaguely familiar. Oh yeah, that’s because I’ve been saying that for years! Maybe now that Pollan is saying it, some of the Rachel Rayers and Guy Fierians will realize that there’s a whole lot more to food and cooking than their catchphrase-ridden talking heads let on. I’m hoping, but I won’t keep my fingers crossed.

This recipe, if you can even call something this simple a recipe, is all about a technique that also happens to be one of my favorite words: macerate. Isn’t that a lovely word? It evokes what happens when you macerate fruit; it gets all juicy and a little squishy and all the goodness runs out to make it’s own syrupy sauce. Yum.

Again, this is another thing that doesn’t really have a recipe, but I’ll do my best. Serve it over vanilla ice cream as we do most of the time, or in strawberry shortcake, or in a yogurt parfait, or on oatmeal, or on pancakes or waffles…You get the idea. It’s good on everything.

Vanilla Macerated Strawberries

strawberries, sliced
white sugar, to taste, but at least a couple tablespoons
half a vanilla bean

1. Slice the half vanilla bean in two lengthwise, then scrape the seeds into a bowl with the strawberries and sugar. Mix thoroughly, then let sit on the counter or in the fridge for 30 minutes. Mix again, then serve. The sugar will bring out all the juices from the fruit and create a syrup. You don’t have to eat this right away, but the fruit breaks down the longer it sits, so I usually use it within a day, otherwise the strawberries start losing their color and get mushy.

Blueberries were on sale at Sendik’s, 4 pints for $5. Not too shabby. I bought them before I knew what I was going to do with them…An impulse buy I guess. In the end I decided to make crisp, as oppossed to cobbler, buckle, crumble, grunt or whatever other regional variation of fruit+carbs. I almost always have everything already on hand for crisp, I love oats, and it’s super easy. Crisp is a great way to use up those impulse berries you buy this summer.

This is a general recipe as I never really measure crisp ingredients. For the fruit, if you like it thicker, add more cornstarch. If your berries are sour and not ripe, add a bit more sugar. For the topping, you’re looking to add enough butter that it turns into wet, coarse sand. If you squeeze it together in your hand, it will hold it’s shape, then crumble into large chunks.

Blueberry Crisp

4 pints blueberries, washed and picked over
1/2 to 3/4 c sugar, to taste
3-4 T cornstarch
1 T lemon juice
2/3 c flour
2/3 c brown sugar
2 t cinnamon
1/2 t salt
1 1/2 c rolled oats
1 stick butter, chilled and diced

1. Preheat oven to 350. Combine fruit, sugar, cornstarch and lemon juice in a bowl. Pour into a 9×13 pan.

2. Combine flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, oats and salt in a bowl. Add chilled butter chunks and work with fingers, fork or pastry cutter until butter is evenly distributed and mixture holds its shape when squeezed. Squeeze mixture, then crumble coarse chunks over the fruit. Bake until browned and bubbly, 30-40 mintues.